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ooooo..can I brag? May I? Can I? Please????

The Mrs likes me. Woo~~�

I was told that not all interns are allowed to enter Mrsapos;s room..And Mrs knows my name although I donapos;t remember telling her my name. And Mrs asked for me to help her do things. Wooooo~~

Ok, Iapos;m done bragging. Ha.

Itapos;s funny how things were so dreadful for me during those first few weeks. BUT, that is because of that incompetent ex-supervisor. From my bitching/gossiping around (yeah, I know itapos;s wrong to do that, but still), even those suppliers, designers, media people, all of them dislike this certain Ms K. Sheapos;s rude, canapos;t understand simply english, no apos;people skillsapos;, etc. These are not said by me ok..itapos;s agreed by many outsiders. Anyway, the stories regarding her inefficiency..there are so many that itapos;s impossible to blog it out. But Iapos;m gloating now. Really gloating. She who bitched about me and painted a damn bad picture of me, is the one suffering now, now that the truth has come to light. And believe it or not, my current supervisor, a certain Ms T, didnapos;t believe a word she said when she was telling them what a lazy intern I was.�Because Ms T suffered under her previously too. Thank goodness Ms T asked me and told me what Ms K said. And�I could defend myself. And time proved everything.

Now, I�feel as though all my sufferings, were worth it. Thereapos;s nothing better than emerging the winner at the end. Of course, there are still the down moments now..but things are way better than those first few weeks. A change of supervisor really helped a lot. Can you imagine if I had never complained to the school? I think I would still be in agony now.

And itapos;s damn shiok to learn that interns before me, outsiders like the designers/suppliers/media/etc, all hate Ms K. At the very least, I can prove to myself and others now..that I wasnapos;t the difficult person previously..that I wasnapos;t over-reacting/cannot accept facts/biased/cannot live with things/etc.

Iapos;m sure that in the first month or so, many friends assumed that I was making a mountain out of nothing, that I just couldnapos;t accept the fact that I was not able to get myself a self-placement into the company of my choice. And my consistent whinings/complaints did not help matters. But now, I have the last laugh. I was right all along, despite the hiccups, despite the lack of support. I meant it when I said I tried hard to be nice. I meant it when I said I couldnapos;t take Ms Kapos;s nonsense anymore. I meant it when I said I might just slip into depression if I continue to work under her. I meant it all. And everyone else thought I�was over-reacting and bla bla bla. Well, it doesnapos;t matter now. What matters is, Iapos;ve not only cleared my name, Iapos;ve also proven myself right, and proven that Ms K is the bad person here. Lalalalalalalalala.

But I will never forgive Ms K for all the lies she spun about me. I will never forget what she said to the rest. I will never let it go. She taught me that time reveals everything. And I�think she has gotten her just desserts. I think itapos;s hard to work in an environment which you know that you are not liked and always left out of discussions and jokes. And you only have 2 colleagues who really talks to you - because they love to gossip about other people like you too - but 1 of the above mentioned colleagues dislike the way you boot-lick. In short, Ms K doesnapos;t have a true friend. Awwww..SO SAD.

I say, YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT FOR BITCHING ABOUT ME.

Ms K, I think you didnapos;t expect things to turn out this way eh?

The worst way to bitch about someone is not when you are saying the worst things about her. It is when at the end of the whole day, she proved to the rest that sheapos;s totally different from what you made her out to be. And then, you looked like a fool. With that, you are bitching about yourself - what a liar you are. =))

That said, I am damn happy with the way things have turned out. In terms of interpersonal relationships, that is. Work scope wise, well, not the best, but no longer the worst.

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What a week.

Thoughts on the debate.
I really found temperament to be the driving force in this debate. Behaviors, actions, facial expressions, and the physicality were never clearer in this campaign until Wednesday night. Actions speak louder than words and certainly McCainapos;s were dramatic. I really struggle with John McCain because I do not dislike the guy. I am completely on the blue side of the fence and would vote for the purple turd if it were on the democratic ticket. However, I do find John very interesting. I think he has personality and I could easily see myself bellying up to the bar with him and having a conversation about any random thing. I like him because he seems approachable. Or maybe it is because I see personality over intelligence. Yes, I just said that. He doesnapos;t strike me as the highly intellectual type (wow, think GWB) but rather a good old boy who could shoot the shit with you on any day. I am really intimidated with the intellectual set as I feel uncomfortable and stupid when I am around such people. Granted, I cause this feeling of self-consciousness all on my own, but I still find myself very disconnected and hesitant to express my thoughts and feelings as I would be afraid that I would say something incredibly elementary. I guess I would not feel this way around John McCain and that he would probably appreciate my ability to be out-going over my intense knowledge of political ideology. His big bully behavior on Wednesday night was quite telling but I think it also reflected a manapos;s passion for service and duty that knows his dream and desire is quickly slipping from his hands. It felt as if he was desperate.

Even with his personal appeal to me, I disagree with him on most of the issues. Well, at least the ones that get discussed every once in a blue moon. This campaign has become more about character and personal associations than on issues that really affect you and me. Therefore, I can not and will not support John. Iapos;d like to have some small chat with him and Cindy, but I do not want to endorse, support, or encourage his agenda. Especially when it comes to education. I really hate how John has so easily spewed his unhappiness with the American education system and then proceeds to blame ineffective teachers and leaders for this outcome in our country. He feels people should be able to choose where their kids go to school, especially if their childapos;s school has been labeled as failing. So his suggestion is to get your kids out of crappy schools and away from the bad teachers and then punish these schools and teachers for their failing community. Never once have I heard anything about the accountability of the parents of these children who are scoring lower than students in every other country. Never once is there discussion on how kidsapos; attitudes toward school achievement and work ethic have changed because many have little support systems that encourage, enrich, or inspire them at home. The American education system is not perfect but I believe is a reflection of what is going on at home. If John thinks we are failing or falling apart, well, then he better fix what is going on at home. The family is falling apart and parents are falling down on their jobs. Not all, of course, but many. There must be responsibility and accountability for our parents in order for schools to succeed. Everyone involved in the life of a child must work for a better solution, not just the school alone.

And yea Along comes Barrack Obama, who I have always supported once he was the nominee, and he actually brings up the crucial roles of parents in the American education dilemma. Yea I was thrilled Someone who gets it Barry sees that it really does take a village working together, not a judging and punishing system of humiliation. Good for him I was thrilled Wednesday night because someone said it and he is even running for president Yea As a teacher, it felt great And it was about time.



Madonna and Guy.
Well, I guess this is not a shocker to most. The divorce of the week belongs to Madge and her Guy. I, however, was quite shocked at first, and then was shocked that I was shocked. So confusing.

Having been a Madonna fan for oh, so very long, I felt a personal sadness for this unfortunate situation. Even a little disappointment. Really? Divorcing? They couldnapos;t work it out? What about the Kabala? It couldnapos;t help them? Why is this happening? I think that was the key factor for me-why?

I guess when you invest so much time to listening, watching, absorbing, buying and celebrating the products of a particular artist, you tend to feel personally linked to that talent and want only the best for them and their world. You want them to be perfect so that it justifies and even clarifies why you are so intensely immersed in their creativity and celebrity. You want others around you to see them in the same light and to embrace their product as much as you do. So, when something less friendly or unflattering happens to them, they do not seem flawless and that bubble of perfection is busted open. OMG They are human They are not perfect In Madonnaapos;s case, that may mean that this dissolution of her marriage was because she was bitchy, demanding, unfriendly, uncaring, unfaithful, and generally a spoiled diva whose was committed more to her ego than to her marriage and commitment. Ouch. There goes the rosy image you have contacted in your head. I am not saying the prior statement is true, it is just crazy thinking during a crazy time.

Okay, so I know this sounds silly. I know Madonna is human like the rest of us and has her own bag of problems like the rest of us, but I still feel a little uneasy about her divorce. It is strange. I do feel sadness for her. I do feel disappointment towards her and her soon-to-be-ex-husband. I do hope that this is what is best for her and her children. I hope her and Mr. Ritchie can put them first as they usher in this difficult time in their lives. I guess this is enough said without starting to sound all creepy and too involved. However, I will say that it is a little funny that her newest single, Miles Away, a song about how love between two people exists only when they are far apart, is set to be released soon. Hmmmmm. Enough.
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the old woman

The image of the old woman, almost ninety, who walks along the streets of the town where I live, never quite leaves me. I have written about her more than once, in fact, several times. Somehow for reasons I do not entirely comprehend, she inspires me from a distance to keep going, to persevere, perhaps because sometimes I would just as soon wave a white flag and declare the way is too hard.

I saw her yesterday as she walked in a misty, cold rain. She wore a long pink coat, a non de-script scarf, a hat of some sort. She had an umbrella extended in one hand and her cane to steady herself in her other hand.

I wondered why she didnapos;t stay in her modest little apartment especially when it was raining, why she didnapos;t tire more easily, what keeps her going, what makes her tick.

When I asked her recently how she stayed so positive, she simply said it never occurred to her to be anything but positive. She offered no other insightful word, no religious jargon, no counsel or guidance; only the quiet assurance of someone who has her feet firmly planted on the ground.

I know her story, her history. Believe me, she has been through the ringer, known significant loss, struggled to become the woman she is and frankly, I want to learn from her journey.

I hope she keeps walking, one step at a time, one day at a time, through the changing seasons of lifeapos;s journey. I hope she never gives up.
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cooperacion universitaria

Ytd i print arashi photos and spend almost $17+, and today sihan told me there will be a JE booth @ SMU.. Wow so happy lor..
i wan a Chinen Jumbo Uchiwa.. But it was $18 excluding shipping cost + the what 7000yen thing.. I was wondering how much the uchiwa would be after all the taxes and additional cost.. And adding the worst was that it was not 100 confirm get Chinen uchiwa.. Heapos;s too popular..
But i just love it larh..
sad that iapos;m not buying.. Nida save for next year Arashi 10th anniversary goods

i have to ctrl myself on what iapos;m going to spend this year..

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Work was fun today. We had a buffet set out to celebrate "bossapos;s day." My team leader, Amy, stopped by my desk to tell me that Iapos;ve been doing well and Bonnie called me a "little pumpkin" because I was wearing my orange Union Bay shirt. I wrote a sticky note that said, "Hi, my name is Hubert Cumberdale" and stuck it to the scanner/copy/fax machine. Rosie left [i]Without a Paddle[/i] on my desk (which I... Forgot... To bring home...), which I thought was especially cool because Rosie can be pretty intimidating. She seems to like me a lot, though, after she found out Iapos;m also a big movie lover. All in all, Iapos;m feeling comfortable with my job. :)

I liked the weather today, too; it was wet, cool and gloomy, making it a quintessentially October day. It also smelled like leaves. I love that smell. Before I went to work this morning, I stood in the back doorway for a few minutes just enjoying the... Falliness or whatever.

I finally got a hold of Alicia, whoapos;s been trapped in the library studying for 18 credit hoursapos; worth of midterms. Sheapos;s done with them though and Iapos;m going to Lexington tomorrow afternoon to hang out with her. I think Iapos;m going to get my tragus pierced finally (now that I have money...). I think weapos;re going to a pumpkin patch to pick out pumpkins and go on hay rides. Then I believe weapos;re going to a field party/bonfire, so it should be nice, especially considering Iapos;ve had only infrequent contact with peers lately...

Iapos;m not really sure why I decided to randomly write in here but I sapos;pose I donapos;t need a reason. I am beyond tired so Iapos;m going to head to bed pretty soon, I think. Working nine hours a day for four days in a row is a bitch but those three-day weekends sure do pay off... *yawns and stretches*
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dreamz endless

Busy busy busy at work.� I get asked "can you do this" and I say "I can schedule that mid-late Nov".�

Busy busy busy at home too.� I want to have a housewarming, but all my weekends are taken, or bounded by travel. �Well, there is always January.� I am planning on a Sunday afternoon dinner party in about 10 days.� Maybe.

Dang, how did it get to be 6:15 PM and Iapos;m still at work.�

Things are pretty good, but still Iapos;m restless. �Staying busy helps.� So does sleeping.

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Hei. Jeg skrev en l�t idag.�Legger ikke ut sangen mens jeg synger,
men her er i allfall teksten;


Canapos;t be sad.
I donapos;t have a good reason to cry,
Even if I want to.
I just have to be strong and smile,
Because nobody gives a fuck
if Iapos;m crying over something that
isnapos;t worth crying for.

But who decides if itapos;s wrong or right
what I feel inside, when I sleep at night?
Yeah, who will tell me if Iapos;m good or bad,
what I should feel inside,
that I canapos;t be sad

The people I meet they think I am happy.
That I love my life,�but that is a lie.
My beautiful friends they donapos;t know how
it feels to be hurt and lost,
but mostly Iapos;m lonely.

So who decides if it is wrong or right
what I feel inside before I sleep at night?
Yeah who will tell me if Iapos;m good or bad,
what I should feel inside.
I wish I could be glad.
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